At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
40s are totally the cure
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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