You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I have fence marks all over my body
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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