All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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