How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
