This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Small penises have feelings too.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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