I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
