ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
