Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
