my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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