I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
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