clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
there is glitter all over my balls
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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