You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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