I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
