so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Screwed.edu
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
