i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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