I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Semen is not good for contacts.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
