Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
