i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I have aggressive nipples.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
