I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
