why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
