i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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