the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
