when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Randomize
