At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
