the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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