IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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