p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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