Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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