Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
