What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Randomize
