i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
home. puking in laundry basket.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
