In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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