Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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