So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
