got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
