I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
