i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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