i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
