I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize