Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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