i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize