I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
