absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
