I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
