did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize