I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
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