I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
