Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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