I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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