My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
