Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize