he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
