I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
You smell like stripper and shame
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
