I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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