I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
