I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
