worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
