I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
