Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
