the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
